symptoms of seclusion

guess what.

this post makes my 200th post..wowza!

i was hoping to announce my surprise (again, not a baby!), but it's not complete yet.. so in due time.

but for now, i'd just like to talk. i've been stuck at home all week with a lovely sickness i picked up at the hospital on monday, and as my sickness symptoms are declining, the symptoms of my seclusion are increasing... you'll soon see what i mean.

to start with, i've been doing a lot of reading this week. i read a book called the no complaining rule, which is kind of cheesy, but has a good point. i would like my clinical students to read it (for some reason nursing student=complainer), but it's not in the libraries yet, so i haven't decided on that yet. another book i read was redeeming love by francine rivers. i can tell you what i thought of the book, or i can explain to you just how i read it. i started with a couple chapters on wednesday. then on thursday morning i woke up with a sore throat at 4 am. with nothing else to do, i picked up the book and didn't put it down until 10 am, when i friend called and reminded me of a meeting we had. i then went to clinicals, came home at 11 pm, picked up the book and finished this 464 page book at 3:30 am. about 10 hours of reading in one day is a record for me. but, that's what i do with story books (which i don't read a lot of anymore), i just can't put them down. this book actually paroles the book Hosea in the Bible. Hosea was a prophet who was told by God to marry a prostitute, which he faithfully does. she leaves him, but he is faithful to his promise to her and takes her back. if you need some help reaffirming your commitment with your signicant other, man is this a motivational story. what broke my heart the most in redeeming love was reading about this fictional woman's life (daughter of a adulteress, sold to be a 'sex toy' for a man by age 8, beat and broken and alone in her teens, and ends up hard and cold and working in a brothel just for a place to sleep and eat). like i said, she is fiction, but i know that there are people to whom this is not just a story. i am also reading captivating and some of the stories women tell are heartbreaking. all i know is love. from my parents, my family, my friends, and my wonderful and supportive husband. i am extremely blessed, and i'm coming to realize that more and more. now i don't know why i have been blessed with so much love, while others don't even know the true meaning of the word, but my prayer is that i get to bless others with my love. and i believe that God is working on me with that. i believe He wanted me to slow down this week (=sickness). i believe that He is continually giving ray and i the same message for a reason. i don't know what all this means for the future, but i believe He has a purpose, and it will take me responding to his every nudge, every whisper, every command (which i usually want to fight). and in the end, i pray that His work has been done. and that is all i need. i just paused to look up a couple things i've been going over, but in the process became motivated to read another book, crazy love, by francis chan, a truly inspiring man from conerstone church (you should check out his podcasts on itunes). so this is just a bit of what i've been going over. i hope that the effects of this won't wear off along with my illness, but that i will continue to change, to grow, and to love.

if your still reading this, thank you :c) i know i'm not eloquent or entertaining, tonight i'm just sharing my heart. let me know if there is anything i can pray for you about. here's a verse from the Word that ray and i have been praying..

"..give me neither poverty nor riches, but give my my daily bread. Otherwise, i may have too much and disown you and say, 'who is the Lord?' or i may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."- Proverbs 30:8-9